In the meantime tho-
CARTOON BALLOONS!
So around Thanksgiving I saw some of these on Cartoon Brew and it GOT ME THINKING about cartoon balloons! So I thought I'd do a bit more research and look through all the fun Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade floats throughout the years! Here's Mickey from 1934... wild!!
What I really love about how old cartoons used to be commercialized was how strange and off-model they made everyone. Look how FUN this big-nosed gnome is!!! You would never see anything this bizarre in the parades today.
HAHAHAHA! Behold, it's Superguy and his amazing barrel chest of hot air. They just didn't care how strange these looked as long as it was fun or funny. This one's hilarious!
Here we see Popeye taking over the world and nobody seems to mind. GREAT FLOAT!!
WHOA, this Mickey and Donald are crazy awesome. How can characters be so off-model yet you can still completely tell who they are? I guess that's the power of classic appealing characters.
Smokey the Man-Bear enforces the rules and keeps everyone in line. Don't have too much fun!
More funs:
So then I looked up photos from this and last year's parades and was utterly SHOCKED. Look at the characters they've chosen to portray holiday balloon fun!! Why is the ugly grumpy farting Shrek man so adored by today's world? I'll never understand it.
Look! They've brought San Diego Comic-Con to the Macy's parade!
By far the creepiest float ever created is the looming kid-luring cheeseburger man.
Man-eating Dora descends upon her victims.
Props to the Spongebob for at least being in the spirit of the old cartoon floats.
Here is a float that makes no sense to me. What is this thing, a TRON rabbit? What beloved character is this? Pointy futuristic ears and computer mascots with no faces are appealing to someone I suppose. I'm sure kids were jumping with joy when this timeless thing floated by.
Don't worry, because this story has a happy ending. The farting ogre beast was finally captured around 6:30pm on Thanksgiving Day and promptly bound and netted. It will be subjected to a slow death by self-deflating. Thanksgiving is saved!!!!!
20 comments:
The giant gnome nose looks like a potato and totally freaks me out.
The silver rabbit is from the work of Jeff Koons, one of my favorite artists. Google him, he's done some very bizarre stuff. I got to pose with one of his balloon sculptures at a gallery in Naples once! It was the highlight of my life.
Last but not least, I've said it before and I'll say it again, Fuck Shrek.
Just what that bloated wind-bag needs, a good de-flation!
Seeing that Kermit reminds me of the first time I saw Henson on television with Kermit. It was during the Macy's parade back in the 80's, and as Jim answered a question, Kermit looked up in awe at his own approaching float. Incredible!
- trevor.
PS: Amen, Molly. Fuck Shrek. And then don't call 'im.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
The new ones look lower, too. Their ugly feet are bopping everyone in the noggin!
Stupid rabbit with no face. Who else is over toys with no face and lego arms? like that stupid rabbit.
Wish I could make toys that looked half as good as that Superman or Pinokio, how ingenius is that nose!
Bravo!!
Woops, I just read Molly's comment.
I totally swayed the opposite to her. Sorry, just I'm over 'basic' toys. It's the one thing that kinda makes me angry, yes, given though there's worse stuff worth kicking up a stink about it...that's my hate.
I was at the parade this year, I took horrific accounts of my visit...
i appreciate an artist being recognized for his work, so no hatin' from me on this end. :)
the only reason I criticize the rabbit here is that it just seems a little out of place in a parade that involves a dedicated portion to supposedly classic cartoon characters.
Giant Ronald McDonald will team up with giant Shrek and eat all the world's children! Good thing they at least netted one of them.
I agree it's kind of weird to have a Koons art piece in the parade, but then again it was weird that they rick-rolled the entire audience, too. Macy's has gone bizarre.
Also, they did use to float the balloons higher, but they would always pop on buildings and once a balloon killed a lady because it deflated on her. Unfortunately I do miss them being higher, because half the fun was watching the balloons pop and be all sunken in and sad looking. Oh well. Safety first.
once a balloon killed a lady because it deflated on her
I'd like to research that. Only because physics always amazes me and I have to know, before I croak, how a deflating baloon, no matter how big, could kill someone.
Did she suffocate? Was it prolonged exposure to helium? Was she trampled by people trying to come to the balloon's aid?
For that lady's sake, I hope there's no Heaven, because if she's there, she's undoubtedly the resident laughing stock.
Well, her and a handful of Jackass copy-cats.
- trevor.
PS: Sorry this was off-topic, Nico. I'll make it up to you one day.
So apparently I made up that thing about a lady dying BUT someone was put in a coma because a Cat in the Hat balloon smashed a lamppost and the debris hit her. And Wiki also told me this hilarious fact about the same day...
"high winds also caused the New York Police to stab and stomp down the Barney balloon over crowd concerns. They also stabbed a Pink Panther balloon for the same reason."
Hahahahaha
See now, if they flew them higher-
1: the cops couldn't reach them; they'd have to get spears
(obviously, a lot cooler)
2: they wouldn't hit lampposts
This could also lead to cops carrying spears regularly, which would make chases (car and foot) more entertaining.
Nobody loses!
I'm Messmer-ized (ha ha ha) by this one, though:
http://www.archives.gov.on.ca/ENGLISH/exhibits/parade/pics/20403_felix_bw_1020.jpg
Ooooh that Popeye one...
The gnome with the huge nose is awesome! So is Popeye!
>>Fuck Shrek.<<
I agree with Molly.
Yes Kurdt...they did net Shrek at the moment.
But how long until Ronald McDonald arises to seek vengeance for his fallen victim? HOW LONG?!
Oh, and I'm with Molly and Trevor: FUCK SHREK IN HIS TIGHT ASSHOLE WITH A BIG RUBBER DICK. And beat 'em off with the rest of 'im.
why is everyone so down on Shrek!! as soon as i see that lovable green face, me and my family can't help but smile. the timeless voices of eddie murphy, mike myers, cameron diaz, come on! you couldn't ask for more.
see you all at the start of the line for shrek 4 and 5, both next year!!
Not sure if that's sarcasm Nico, but I don't mind Shrek. Haven't seen the third one, but when the first one came out I bought the McFarlane toy of Shrek that you squeeze and it say's "Ello, my names Shrek!" It looks cool, though the one frase is a little annoying.
And I also went back and watched 'Shrek in 4D' twice at WB on the Gold Coast instead of going on another ride, it's great and worth it. And Cameron Diaz is a hottie and can't go past some good ol' toilet humor, that Mike does so well!
Plus for good measure songs from Jeff Buckley and The Proclaimers.
I wish they'd make Shrek into a TV show, so that every day would be a new adventure into the bottomless sachel of creative possibilities that is the Shrek franchise.
They could even have shows where the ogres and donkeys share feelings and learn lessons in ethnic diversity, all whilst spitting well-tested pre-approved jokes in a 'tude heavy dialect!
And maybe Eddie Murphy could voice ALL the donkeys in his family! Gosh, the possibilities are ENDless!
Yes, I love Shrek, and I throw like a fag.
- trevor.
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